Life Wants You Dead: A Calm, Rational, and Totally Legit Guide to Scaring Yourself Safe Card Decks

Life Wants You Dead: A Calm, Rational, and Totally Legit Guide to Scaring Yourself Safe Card DecksFear!!! Scary, right? But what if the only thing we shouldn't fear is fear itself? "Truly Hilarious!" Jack Handey, author of Deep Thoughts In this era of economic turmoil, climate catastrophe, and cliques of cool teens just waiting to make fun of your shoes, we live in a heightened state of fear. We're afraid of the world and afraid of each otherbut not nearly as afraid as we should be! And this absurdly hilarious survival guide demonstrates that

they cause messes and damage your property

checkered throughout the 87-card deck are a series of directives that will have you blending together various parts of a drink—from the base to the modifier

Let’s get this baby dance party started with DJ Baby

bring joy to your cooking and a smile to every cat owner's face with Bake Me a Cat

such as the White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose for the layperson)

Celebrate new beginnings with this special blend of Spring specific pollinator-friendly seeds

white elephant gift exchange

✦ Over 40 hand-drawn illustrations of the little frog

as each of us struggles to draw meaningful and resilient existences on the blank pages—the future yet unlived—of our lives

Dimensions: 5

18k gold plated over brass with a protective coating

You have to close the lighter to put out the flame